First, this is not your fault
Sextortion is the practice of threatening to share private images unless a person pays or sends more. It is a form of blackmail, and it is a crime. The person to blame is the one making the threat, whatever you may have shared and however you came to share it.
Shame is the lever these people pull. They count on you feeling too embarrassed to tell anyone, because secrecy gives them time and control. Breaking that silence is the single most useful thing you can do.
This post is general safety advice for adults. It does not describe any particular platform's systems. It is written for anyone who has found themselves in this position, whether on MyDirtyHobby, another site or an ordinary messaging app.
The first hour: what to do and not do
Try to stay calm, even though that is hard. Panic is what the other person wants. These steps usually make the best starting point.
- Stop replying. Do not argue, bargain or plead. Every response tells them you are engaged.
- Do not pay. Payment rarely ends it. It usually signals that you will pay again, and the demands tend to grow.
- Do not send more. Whatever they say, additional images only increase their leverage.
- Keep everything. Take screenshots of messages, usernames, profile links, payment requests and dates. Do not delete the conversation.
- Secure your accounts. Change passwords, turn on two-step verification and review who can see your social media friends and contacts.
Do not move to another app or share personal details because someone asks. If an account is making threats, block it only after you have saved the evidence.
Reporting and getting help
Report the threats to the police or your national cybercrime service. The FBI describes common patterns and reporting routes on its sextortion page. You can also report scam activity at reportfraud.ftc.gov.
If you are an adult worried about intimate images being spread, StopNCII.org is a free service that helps prevent images from being shared across participating platforms. It works by creating a digital fingerprint of the image on your own device, so the image itself is not uploaded.
Also report the account and content to whichever site or app is being used, using its own reporting tools. Check the platform's own help pages for how that works. If you are in distress, tell a trusted friend, a family member or a counsellor. You do not need to carry this alone.
Spotting the pattern early
Many of these cases follow a script. A new contact is unusually friendly, moves quickly, and soon suggests switching to a private chat or exchanging images. After that comes the threat. Recognising the script helps you interrupt it.
Warning signs include a profile that seems too perfect, reluctance to appear on a live video, requests to move away from the original site, and sudden urgency. None of these proves bad intent alone, but together they should slow you down.
If you are adult and choose to share images with someone, think carefully about who they are and what you could not bear to see circulated. Our safety checklist is a good place to start. The site is for those aged 18 and over, and anyone who seems underage should be left and reported.
Looking after yourself afterwards
Once the immediate crisis has passed, give yourself time. Sleep, eat and talk to someone. The fear often outlasts the threat, and that is normal.
Tidy your digital footprint gently. Review privacy settings, remove accounts you no longer use, and check whether your email appears in known breaches at Have I Been Pwned. Tools such as a password manager reduce the chance of repeat attempts.
Finally, treat any further contact from the same person as part of the same case. Keep logging it and pass it to the authorities. For related patterns, read why gift card and crypto requests are a warning sign, and how to keep your browser tidy.
Talking to someone you trust
Many people wait days before telling anyone, and those days are the hardest. Choose one person who is likely to respond calmly, whether a friend, relative, partner or counsellor, and give them the facts plainly.
You could say: "Someone is threatening me over private images. I have not paid and I am keeping the evidence. I need help deciding what to do next." That is enough to begin.
If you feel unable to speak to anyone you know, a helpline in your country or a qualified counsellor can listen without judgement. Support makes the practical steps easier, because fear clouds decisions. Remember the core points: do not pay, keep the evidence, report it and look after yourself. That is a plan you can follow even on a bad day.
It also helps to remember that these campaigns are often sent in bulk to many people at once. The sender may not even hold anything of yours, and may simply be hoping you panic. That does not make the threat harmless to report, but it can take some of the fear out of it. Take a breath, check what is real, and follow the steps above one at a time.
Frequently asked questions
Platform features are described as the platform presents them; we cannot verify them independently and details can change. Independent guide; adults 18+ only.